Dave Hopwood (2006) The Blokes Bible.Authentic Media.UK.

I have to confess I've been spectacularly inconsistent when it comes to Bible-reading notes.

I hope it helps (The Blokes Bible) you connect with the God of the Bible, who wired us up, will do everything he can to catch our attention, and allows us-no, wants us-to be blokes and have faith.

Adams Best Mate
God: You know the first thing I did when I made the sea? I went swimming. All day. Snorkelling, diving, surfing. That's why it took so long to make everything you know.

Some nights I sit in...and feel a million miles from everyone else. Unable to cross the divide. Desperately seeking solace while desperately longing for love-though I never call it love. A laugh, a joke, a listening ear. Someone who 'gets' me. Someone who laughs at the unspoken jokes,, hears the hidden cries, spies the inner torture of my soul.

I take a hefty suck on my pint.

I glance back at the bar. Genial guy's staring into his empty pint glass. I could offer him a drink. But then maybe he'd think I was trying to pick him up or something.

God doesn't push these miserable sinners (Adam and Eve) away. Instead he sits on a rock with them, kills an animal for them (maybe it was the unicorn), and makes good quality clothes for them.

Samson
When the spirit comes on him he slaugthers. It's not listed in Corinthians but he has the spiritual gift of annihilation.

Here's one thing I never understood: Those parents who, ailing under the weight of a difficult marriage, decide to have another baby to bring them closer together. How does that work then?

Before we had children, I had a best friend. Now, four years, two babies and 1,000 soiled nappies and sleepless nights later, I have a mother, a wife, and somewhere way down the list, the mortal remains of my best friend.

I think of the 5.30 wake-up call this morning. Seems weeks ago now. Just like the hundreds of 5.30 wake-up calls I've endured, every one of them carefully engineered to occur on my day off...Kids have perfect timing...The one day of the week when I get to sleep in, and I spend it headbutting the bathroom wall in time with the dawn chorus.

The bits of my wife's body have been hijacked by my kids.

Congratulations, Mrs Sam(son)! You've got a healthy, bouncing baby boy. He's just outside at the moment murdering sheep.

I'm left alone with my book and my beer. One's easier to finish than the other.

Noah
The guy built a boat and sailed into the sunset, just a few family and a lot of pets on board. Must have stunk like hell.

"So be strong and take courage, all you who put your hope in the Lord!" (Ps. 31:1,24, NLT)

I went to church today. It's a rare occurence for me at the moment. Somehow sitting in rows, laughing at chessy jokes and singing lines like, " Isn't he rather lovely" and "Be all else but what thou art nought to me save that thou be something else to me " seem a million miles away...

There are three kinds of peace-sharers - huggers, kissers and shakers. I'm a (hand)shaker.

Let's be honest. Many men - in fact, all the men I know know - married or single, masturbate. And a lot of them look at the forbidden fruit on their way to doing it. We hate it, we hat ourselves. Yet we kepp coming back to the tree. There's nothing quite like flying solo for offering you one hell of a rush and leaving you with just the hell bit. Completely wrung out. You startoff waning to getting - down and dirty - and that's just what you end up feeling - down and dirty. Roll up, roll up. Get your highest high and your lowest low all in the space of time it takes to log on.

The worst part of masturbation is the after-burn.The guilt, the self-hatred, the morbid fear of punishment and being thrown into the spiritual dunghill.

Oh well thanks Adam. Thanks for eating that fruit and giving Eve the excuse to open the first clothes store.

The word on the street is that you don't need to feel bad about masturbation. Just carry on.
The word in the church is that you don't need to feel bad about masturbation. Just stop.
I sigh and take a long final suck on my pint.
Where's the solution. Perhaps the solution is, there is no solution. There's just the grace to live with the tension.

So now I'm sitting in Cutter's with a pint of Guiness and it's nowhere near St patricks day.

Page 91 Top five things

Mercy, kindness, justice, humility, and loyalty

Living it does not make me famous or important. At least, not on earth.

Methuselah. Now there's a name you don't hear everyday. Meet the kids - Keanu, Cher, Brooklyn, Lourdes - and Methusela. Shame its disappeared as it means something pretty significant:'When he is dead, it shall be sent'.

www.chesterton.org/discover/quotations

Everyone's been designed to do something. The trick is finding that, and having the courage to say 'yes', when everything inside you is yelling 'no'.

Strength, honesty, courage, compassion. For your part do what he loves. Be just, be kind, be humble.

Your God cares. He cares so much he knows every hair on your head, th ecolour of your eyes, the length of your fingernails. Everything begins and ends with that fact. God cares for you.

If you live for yourself, you'll atrophy(waste away). Your soul will grow listless, your conscience will slip into a coma. You'll be a walking vegetable.

...the in-laws have been to stay...they haven't seen the grandchildren in a while...I usually offer them my children as a take-out affair, rather than an eat-in. In fact, I'd be very happy to rent 'em out for a few weeks. Rent? I'd pay.

I didn't mean to scare him, I was just working on my feminine side. You know, talking.

Many men fall apart when they have to retire. Their job might be mundane and grim, but it gives them purpose and a reason to get up in the morning.

One of the most humerous books I've read in my life. What a great man this guy must be, I'd love to meet him. Sounds like the kind of humour and personality I'd love to have, you know, it seems that the author see's the funny side of events or always looks on the bright side of life, or the grass is greener on the other side, or the glass is half full kind of guy, despite the lows. An inspirational read.